Most funny pages on facebook tv#
Most funny pages on facebook free#

Just family-friendly board games with questions like, “Who murdered this guy with a pipe?” My parents never allowed violent video games.

When someone rings the doorbell, I say to my kids, “I think it’s Santa Claus!” so I don’t have to get up. The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream. You think you love your family, but suddenly there are three of you and one remaining slice of pizza.Ī grandparent’s house is where cousins become best friends Funny Quotes and Sayings for Facebook Status Updates About Family and Friends Never forget that we live in a world in which it is easier to get out of a marriage than a mobile phone contract. Love is like Wi-Fi, you can’t see it, but you know when you’ve lost it. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. It doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. “A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love. “Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. “Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Airman’s Odyssey “Love does not consist of gazing at each other but in looking together in the same direction. If you expect something in return, it’s called business, not love. You tell me you love me, so now I’m scared!Ī man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. Love is a long sweet dream & marriage is an alarm clock. Getting someone a Sonic drink means “I love you” in Texan. I’m going to open a new Facebook account named Anonymous, so all the cool quotes will be attributed to me!Ī relationship should be between two people, not the whole world. Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you’ve never met.įor the love of God, single people, stop looking for love, or you’ll end up married. It’s almost bedtime, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and watch a season of my favorite show on Disney+ real quick.Įveryone is fine until you see them on Twitter.

Most funny pages on facebook free#

In modern politics, even the leader of the free world needs help from the sultan of Facebookistan. Thanks for the birthday wishes from everyone who noticed my name today in the upper right corner of your Facebook page. The internet is perfect because it satisfies my desire to be alone while still getting attention from people. We all know you do it for attention, and you’ll be back soon. “Quitting Facebook ” is the adult version of running away from home. One who gets an enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts. There are two types of human beings found on Facebook. “Mark Zuckerberg ruined our lives.” That might not be a funny Facebook status for him. And do it all like it won’t end up on Youtube! Happy New Year! Here’s to another year of binge eating, Facebook surfing, and Netflix marathons.ĭance like the photo isn’t being tagged. Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. That awkward moment when someone *Likes* One of your Very old Facebook statuses and you think “Creeper.” What kind of downward spiral would cause a person to “like” cream cheese on Facebook?įacebook should really have a “no one cares about” option too.Ī long time ago, I used to have a life until someone told me to create a Facebook account. I’m sorry that I ’m not updating my Facebook status. ”Įveryone is normal until you add them as your Facebook friend. So when I see someone post something stupid, I can like it, and it will say, “Nobody Likes This. I want to change my name to Nobody on Facebook. I wouldn’t need Facebook if there was a website that just told me whether or not my exes got fat. When you are alone, you open it to see if there is anything there.

Most funny pages on facebook tv#

There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter, like watching TV and having a beer.įacebook is a fridge. Tired of crafting and posting brilliant Facebook statuses only to be greeted by crickets? Proceed and enjoy a few boisterous outbursts of laughter! Funny Quotes and Sayings About Social Media If your friends enjoy your comments on their posts, they’ll be more likely to see and comment on your posts. If your friends see your likes on their posts, they’ll be more likely to see and like your posts. Social media platforms reward engagement with engagement. While you are certainly welcome to borrow these phrases, you’ll increase your chances of being seen by getting out there a being seen. (Yes, you can use these for Instagram posts and stories too.) If you’re trying to boost your engagement on Facebook or Instagram, you’ll want to know this. Want to delight your social media friends? Borrow from this list of funny quotes and sayings for Facebook status, and enjoy some great laughs yourself!